I Painted Our Door

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You were asleep inside. You were in our bed. Our baby was asleep next to you in a crib.

I told you I was going to the market. I went to the market. Then came home and painted a big heart on the door. I told you I didn’t know what happened. Then laughed and gave you a kiss.

We were in Morocco.

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What On Earth Are You Doing?

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You have to be a loyal lover or else you’ll be sleepy. Your head will hurt. You will be stressed. Your short stories will be boring. Your heart will no longer bleed poetry made of honey.

You cannot be someone else’s SAME. You are my shame. What will they think? I cannot control you. I cannot tame you. You’re a rabid fox bred in a cage in Siberia. Bred to be aggressive, to bite, and be a secret weapon.

You cannot be someone else’s for it makes my heart scream. I long to come in your room and close your laptop shut with a slam so your Facebook video chat ends. Then give you a look that should yell at you, “You’re a disappointment! What happened to us! It’s all about you! Isn’t it?”

When will your now two-plus hours conversation end? Your conversation sounds so boring, but I know what he has to say to you has so many shades of indigo meaning. I wonder if you know how much this hurts.

It seems like a harmless conversation to you, but if you keep this up I promise your hair will catch fire and turn a strawberry red. Your eyes will turn into frozen blueberries. You will look like ice cream you can buy at Schoen Place.

I hope this ridiculous short story makes you laugh. I just wanted to say I still love you no matter what you do. Thank you for knowing how I feel. And thank you for being my most loyal yet disloyal lover.

I’m Going to Win

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I told Sophie to watch Eastern Promises because it’s a movie that glorifies my culture. Not the Russian mafia part, but the part where the Russian doctor fights for the baby’s life. She’s the good that triumphs over evil.

I also wanted Sophie to watch the movie so someday when she has my baby she can name the baby Christine. I want to be able to tell everyone who meets baby Christine that Sophie named her after the baby from Eastern Promises. Then we can tell everyone to watch it because everyone needs to know how good and strong the Russian heart is.

I really like Sophie. I can’t admit it to myself sometimes because I know she’s going to hurt me. She’s obsessed over someone else. The whole thing just hurts my head.

Oh whatever I’ll go through with this ridiculous relationship with Sophie. I like winning. I know I’ll have won once we have a baby Christine dangling in a hammock by the beach.

The Dandelion Tattoo

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When I said I wanted a dandelion tattoo, the kind that you make a wish on I saw the jealousy in your eyes. It’s because you remembered the photo for the poem I wrote last year. In that poem, I told the other one I loved how much I truly loved him.

I told him he shouldn’t pretend he didn’t love me. I told him he shouldn’t pretend it wasn’t a big deal. I told him to wish for a kiss. I told him it would always be him that I would miss.

I lied. It’s always you that I miss, but it’s over between us now. I have to move on because my heart belongs to him. When I hear his voice I hear violins and that’s what I long for most. When I see his eyes I see the waves of the ocean. When I am in his arms I feel like for once I can rest and breathe.

He is the key to my heart and I am the key to his heart and that’s all that ever matters. Plus you’re still unable to explain to me who Natasha is. I know she’s on your mind.

आप हमेशा सबसे महत्वपूर्ण रहेंगे।

 

Splash

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Me sitting on a limb. On the edge asking for it. In Asia here I am. Her continent. I think she should have been here.

Me waiting for her to walk on the limb I’m on. Me waiting for her to rock it until I fall.

Waiting to rock. Fall into the water I go. Splash!

Me wanting to say, “Why did you do that?” Me wanting her to laugh until her belly hurts. Me waiting to splash her, but she’s not there.

I am imagining it. What life could have been. Well, at least now it’s a short story now.

(Photo by Colin Brennan. Check out ColinBrennan.com. Colin is awesome and gave me permission to use his photo for the poem.) www.instagram.com/colinbrennanphoto

You Are the Best Gift

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You are a gift to me from the heavens above. You are always there for me. You are always watching out for me. You make me smile every morning when I wake up and I see a message from you.

Today I got to see your handsome face and it instantly made me feel warm and fuzzy like peaches. I love how you know just what I need and when I need it. Your presence is a gift.

I love how intelligent you are for I need a brilliant man like you. Not just because I need you to Google where we’re going to park the car, but I need your smarts for when I am down. Because when I am in a bad mood I can be a bit sullen and I need you to remember all of the times I was loving, sweet, and caring to you. I need you to remember all of our good memories for when a bad day comes you do not lose your temper because you can recall all of the times I said I loved you. On my bad days, you can recite by heart all of the sweet short stories I wrote that were inspired by my love for you.

तुम स्वर्ग से मेरे लिए एक उपहार हो।

Our Love is Clean Clear Water

 

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Our love is like water. It is clean, clear, and pure. I don’t want to dip in my brush with indigo paint and dirty the water. I want to keep it drinkable for when I am thirsty. For when I need it, it is there for me to drink and quench my thirst.

Dipping in that brush I’ve used to create a masterpiece is unforgivable. It is the last straw that will break the camel’s back and will forever make the water sullied and completely useless. I might as well throw the water out before I even mix in that paint.

What will I do with my brush with indigo paint? I know what I must do. I know what I want to do. I know what I am meant to do. That is let the indigo paint dry on the brush and keep it on my desk.

It shall stay there on my desk as a reminder for me of that masterpiece I once created. It shall remain there to remind me of the sin I did not commit so I could have something to cure my thirst. It shall remain there on my desk to remind anyone that comes into my room what I have done and what I am capable of doing. I am capable of destroying a paintbrush for the sake of keeping my love clean, clear, and pure.

हमारा प्यार शुद्ध है।